Sick on the Job
by bekdebek
Summary: Randy catches a terrible cold. What will he do when the Ninja can't fight?


Randy Cunningham 9th grade ninja

Sick on the job

"Tomorrow is the biggest report of our lives Cunningham," Howard said grabbing Randy's collar, "of our LIVES."

"And it is going to be the brucest report on moss in the entire class!"

"Moss isn't bruce Cunningham, let's just get this over with", he sighed.

Come on Howard, we actually tried this time how bad can it be?"

Suddenly a scream was heard from the distance. They both turned to see people running from Norrisville High. A giant monster smashed through the wall of the high school.

"Go," Howard sighed. "Just don't forget to finish the report!' he yelled while Randy jumped behind a bush to pull up his Ninja mask.

Randy jumped out of the bush, this time as the ninja. "Ninja sprint" he yelled while chasing after the monster. It was orange and looked like a disproportioned cat. "Who let you out of the bag?" he asked.

"Mediocre zing ninja!" Bucky yelled while hiding in a trashcan. The cat monster swung at the ninja, missed, and knocked over Bucky instead.

"What does this guy hold most dear?" he asked himself.

He jumped onto its head and yelled "Ninja hoooooold" while grabbing on to its ears. The monster trashed its head around bashing Randy on surrounding walls. It shook its head some more then it jumped into an open man hole. Randy let go and fell into the sewage water.

"Aw that's shnasty!" He yelled holding up his scarf.

The cat monster then started running away.

"Ninja sprint" he said reluctantly chasing after the cat monster.

It was like a disgusting maze forcing Randy to take turn after turn in freezing cold poo water. He noticed a handbag around the cat monsters paw. Scribbly notes pointed to it saying "cut this" and "destank her bro"

"Ninja cold balls!" he yelled freezing the cat in the water. "Ninja slice!" he yelled cutting the handbag in half. The cat monster reversed back into a girl with a lousy spray tan. "You just got destanked!" he laughed; then he looked at himself. "Speaking of destanking I smell snasty! Achooo!" Randy sniffed. "Oh no."

The next day Howard walked up to Randy's house. "Cunningham come out!" he yelled. "I'm serious you're gonna make me late…er than usual"

Randy opened the door weakly. "Hey Howard..." he coughed.

"Wow what happened to your face?" Howard laughed

"Im sick"

"Ooooh… but what about our project?

"Tell Driscoll I'm sick"

"Do you think that will work?"

"I trust you buddy you can come up with something."

They both started laughing and Randy coughed for a few seconds.

"But seriously it'll be fine" He said weakly

"But what about ninja stuff? We both know I can't sub in for you."

"Call me if Mcfist does something or someone gets stanked"

"Fine see you later don't play grave puncher without me!" Howard yelled

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"Viceroy!" McFist yelled, "The sorcerers plan didn't work…again, so we need a new plan to destroy the ninja!"

"I have a new invent…"

"I have a new invention!" McFist interrupted. "…go on."

"Anyways, I made robot cockroaches!"

"Why would you do that exactly?"

"They all have recognition devices in them so if they see the Ninja they sent a signal to the Robot Apes and they can capture the ninja before he knows what happened, and they are indestructible so no human can break them."

"Brilliant Viceroy! Why didn't you... I think of this earlier?"

"I don't know 'how' you do it"

"Nomicon, is there any Ninja remedy I can get?"

The Nomicon glowed and flipped often bringing Randy into the world of its pages.

He looked around to see hundreds of trees. Blue writing spelled out "Even the mightiest warrior can catch a common cold," a samurai with a green face lay underneath one of the trees. Eat the fruit of a Yuzu tree to recover one's strength." The samurai ate a fruit and jumped up and drew his sword.

"Thanks Nomicon," Randy sniffed, "Where is it?"

"It lies with the plants in the land of the Ninja."

"You're being strangely forward today Nomicon."

"The ninja is vulnerable in a weakened state" It wrote out. Then the Nomicon sent him out back into his body.

"Thank you Nomicon." Randy said while slipping into a coat.

Howard looked out the window. "Hey Cunningham, wanna ditch and go to the game hall?" he said looking over to the empty desk next to him. "Right sick" he sighed. He looked out the window again and saw Randy wobbling over to the school with a black coat on. "Why isn't that shoob at home?"

"Cunningham! why would you choose school over grave puncher?" Howard yelled at him from the window. Randy wobbled over.

"Nomicon says there is a tree *cough cough* at school that helps get rid of a cold." Randy said.

"Why don't you just drink cough medicine?"

"I already did *cough* it didn't work and the Ninja is vulnerable in a weakened state."

Well where is it then?"

"Um *sniff* I'm not sure, is there a greenhouse in the school or *cough* something."

"Try Driscoll's classroom, plants are sciency right?

"Thanks Howard *sniff*" he choked out.

"I'm coming with," Howard said while climbing out of the window. "Class is wonk."

They walked through the halls slowly while Randy stopped every few seconds to sneeze or cough. "Maybe you should just go home" Howard said

"But *sniff* I have to get the fruit so I can *cough* get better"

"Whatever let's just hurry to Driscoll's room so you can get your fruit."

They continued walking when they heard a bell ring, and students flooded the hallway. "Good thing I don't have to go to class, Thanks Cunningham." Howard laughed.

"Anytime Howard *cough cough* let's sit down until passing period is over.

The students all rushed past them and the bell rang again.

Howard and Randy then walked to Driscoll's room.

"Look" Howard said. He pointed to the back of the room where a door with the words Greenhouse on it was. They headed to the Greenhouse when Mrs. Griswald said "You two are late! Take your seats."

"I forgot we have Mrs. Driscoll this period!" Howard whispered. "Did you finish the report?"

"No, I thought I wouldn't be at school today *cough cough*"

"If you are going to be school sick then you need to wear a mask." Mrs. Driscoll said slapping a mask on Randy's face. "Now sit down."

"What are we going to do Cunningham?" Howard whispered.

"I already gave you most of the report, *cough cough* Just improvise the rest!" Randy whispered. He then stood up and said "Mrs. Griswald *sniff* I'm too sick for class today I'm going home" Randy said.

"I'll sneak into the greenhouse; give me a distraction" Randy whispered

"Very well then," Mrs. Driscoll said, and then she grabbed the skeleton next to her and used it as a puppet saying "Colds can be serious! I caught one once too. We all know how that ended!"

Randy made a disturbed face and said "Yeah thanks Mr. Driscoll"

He looked over at Howard and eye motioned at Mrs. Driscoll

Howard stood up and said "Um Mrs. D…. I want to give my report first."

"Oh really? That's a surprise," she replied, "Go ahead."

Howard pulled out the papers Randy had given him.

"So… this is a picture of moss… It grows on rocks I guess." Howard said nervously while flipping through Randy's papers. "Also it's green and fuzzy like…fuzz…that's wet and grows on rocks. It um doesn't have flowers… something about spores uh, it has them I guess?"

Randy snuck over to the green house while Howard rambled. "Ok so where is the Yuzu tree. *cough cough*" Randy mumbled to himself. He looked at all the trees lables.

" Manchineel, Quercus, Excoecaria agallocha, what the juice? Who has even heard of all these trees?" Randy looked up and saw a sign that read 'Poisonous trees'.

"Why does she have so many poisonous trees!?" Randy stepped back and bumped into a tree. He turned slowly whispering, "Please don't be poisonous, please don't be poisonous." He read the tag. "Oh hey it's the Yuzu tree! Where's your fruit?" A scribbly arrow pointed to a sign above the tree. "All edible fruit is to be taken to the cafeteria."

"Really?" *cough cough* Randy sighed.

He snuck back out nodding at Howard.

"And that's all you need to know about moss" Howard sighed while sitting back down.

Randy walked through the hallway again wobbling and coughing. He opened the door to the cafeteria. "You look terrible kid." He heard behind him.

There stood a girl who looked like she was in her middle 20s wearing a lunch lady outfit. "You should head home" she said.

"But I need a fruit first" he coughed out.

"Try this" she said while tossing a lumpy yellow fruit at him. "It's called a Yuzu fruit, found it in that crazy teacher's greenhouse; did you know she has over 30 poisonous plants there?"

"Thank you! And yes….I know" He peeled it open and took a huge bite.

"Ah man this is shnasty!" He finished the fruit and pulled his mask back up.

"Hey buddy you feel better?" Howard said while walking over.

"Not yet but I found the fruit, hey aren't you still in class"

"That's not important right now, I brought you a scarf."

"Thanks Howard, why are you being so nice?"

"I bombed our moss project"

"Aw man" he said while wrapping the red scarf around his neck.

A robot cockroach looked at Randy. It compared the picture of the ninja to him. Same eyes, mask, black clothes, red scarf, NINJA CONFIRMED.

"Viceroy why is the computer beeping" McFist said.

"That means it identified the Ninja! I knew it would work."

"Of course it worked it was my idea"

"…Let's head to the school now."

Suddenly a robo-ape broke through the wall and threw a table at Randy.

"The juice *cough cough*?!" He yelled while running out of the way. "But I'm not the ninja right now!"

The robo-ape threw a table again. Randy ducked and tried to run away.

"ooh dizzy…, ninj… um normal run" Randy moaned while wobbling away. One more table flew at him knowing him into the wall."

"Owwww! This hurts so much more without the suit.

The cafeteria lady splashed juice on the robo-ape. It short circuited and fell to the ground."

"How did orange juice shut it down?" Howard said.

"You don't want to know what's in this juice," she replied.

"Cunningham are you ok!" Howard yelled while running over.

Three more robo-apes broke through the wall. One of them threw a chunk of wall at Randy. The other two ran over to Randy and picked him up by his arms.

"Where's the Ninja!" Hannibal yelled entering the cafeteria through the gaping hole in the wall.

Randy was pulled up unconscious. His coat, mask, and Howard's scarf fell off at some point leaving Randy in his usual T-shirt and pants. "Not the Ninja" The Robo-ape said dropping Randy on the ground.

Viceroy and Hannibal winced. "The robo-apes beat up someone that wasn't the Ninja?" Viceroy said.

"Obviously Viceroy!" Hannibal yelled back.

Thank you so much for reading. This is my first Fanfiction so I don't exactly know how to do authors notes and a summary and stuff. I spent about a month watching, rewatching, and reading wiki pages to make sure it sounded like the actual show so thank you so much for taking me seriously. There will be a chapter two soon! Thank you!


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